We should think of our life as an infinite journey without destination. You take steps in one direction. Or another. Or another. Sometimes you get lost along the way and fall down. Then you start again. However, it may also happen that you fall down and you feel like you don’t have the strength to get back up.
The reason why you’re not doing well in life
If I told you to create a list of reasons why you’re not doing good, how would this list look like? Probably you would mention, the economic crisis, the taxes, the government, a corrupted society, your parents or friends that don’t support your vision, the weather, and so on. They are all good reasons, are they? But, what if I told you, you got it all wrong? Let me tell this: society steals our dreams because we allow it, because we face the world as victims, not as warriors. Now, change the rules. Don’t focus on others, focus on yourself. Don’t focus on the problem, focus on the solution. It’s not what happens; it's how you react to what happens that changes everything. So, now, consider this shift: remove everything from your list and put on it only one thing: Yourself. That’s right it’s all on you.
“Some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default.” – J. K. Rowling
“If you want something you've never had you must be willing to do something you've never done.” – Thomas Jefferson
“You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both. You get from this life what you have the courage to ask for.” -- Brenè Brown
Awake to the truth that reality is an illusion
As we know, our brain has the ability to represent what happens in the world. However, this internal representation isn’t precisely what happens because of the filtering and personalization of the brain. We develop beliefs; in other words, something we accept as true. Everyone creates its own reality. What is reality then? What is the truth? The Toltec civilization used to say that everything is an illusion. Everyone creates their own mental version of the world as if everyone was dreaming a different dream. Nothing is true, only love is true. The rest is a creation of the mind and the ego. Now, imagine you could awake and find out that everything you believed to be true about life and the world is actually only a creation of the human mind (a dream as the Toltec affirmed). You discover that you were “domesticated”, you were taught the dream of your life by the people that were there ahead of you. So, now that you’re aware of this process you can break free of the domestication. You can begin to dream your own dream, focusing your attention on discovering what YOU believe to be true.
How to improve your resilience and take back control of your life
1. Look inside of you
Think of an orange. When you squeeze it orange juice comes out. Why? Because that’s what is inside the orange. Now take a look at yourself. When life squeezes you what comes out? Anger, hatred, depression… Why? We say people or situations made us feel that way, it’s all because of them. But actually, just like the orange, those feelings came out because they were already inside of you. If you want to stop suffering because of negative feelings, you have to look inside of you and change your perspective. Now, when life squeezes you, the only things that come out are understanding and love.
2. Focus on what you can control
There are a lot of things in life that you can’t control. So, just let them go. You are not going to change them. One thing you can certainly control: yourself. What do you think it’s easier? Changing 1000 things in the external world or changing just yourself? Consider this example from Jim Rohn: There are two salesmen and a storm outside. The 1st salesman says: Wow what a storm. With weather like this they can’t expect us to go out and make sales. He stays home. The 2nd salesman says: WOW. What a storm. With weather like this what a great day to go out and make sales! Everyone will be home... Including the other salesmen.
3. Understand your “Why”
Every single person on the planet knows what they do. Some know how they do it. But very few people know why they do it. And by why I don’t mean making money. That’s a result. By why I mean what’s their purpose, their cause. Life will knock you down many times. That’s when people give up. But you have to let reason get you back up. If you have clarity of values, you still understand why you are there. If you know your purpose, if you know why you’re doing it then you’ll be able to pick yourself up every single day.
4. Improve your resilience
If you want to improve and get better in life, then failure is inevitable. When you fail try again and again and again. Work on improving your resilience. Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows you to come back stronger than ever after a failure. All that matters is that you are going to get up. It matters how you’re going to finish. Are you going to finish strong?
Take back control of your life
It’s not what happens that determines the quality of your life. And that’s because what happens, happens to about everybody. It’s no different. Rather it’s how you react that changes everything. In my FREE e-book "Love your life" I explain just that: how to get out of a negative spiral and start living a life that honors who you are. So, now it’s your choice. It’s all on you. What are you gonna do?